|
By Orbital. It's one of those songs that is tied distinctly to a timespan. Flipping wax with friends. Angsting over a choice between good and better. This is one of the few times I can look back and say,with great satisfaction, that I made the right choice even when it was hard.
I got a $500 gas bill so...I'm keeping the house cold. My beautiful daughter is sleeping under a pile of blankets in her swing. You can tell it's cold in the house because even the cats are curled into compact little balls of fur.
I keep too many blogs so...my mind is kinda scattered across the internet. What of it isn't scattered, period.
In the past two days I've done enough cooking to last a month. That's the plan, anyway. An entire turkey, 4 loaves of bread, a batch of chocolate chip cookies, 18 packages of trail mix, 4 casseroles, potato soup, 24 pizza bagels and an omelette mix.
Today is filled with the odds and ends I didn't want to do that past two days.
Love,
Hannah
Oh yes, PS. I'm moving back to COS in 2009. Chicago, I love you with all my heart, you've been wonderful. And now it's time to go where my people are.
Current Mood:  Brr! Current Music: Orbital - Funny Break |
|
This is me procrastinating writing some final papers. I was staring at Ari, watching her observe the wide world until she finally found her thumb and went to sleep.
And...I finally got that Skyguard mount in WoW. Nothing like a good long rep grind to make you wonder how Blizzard possibly managed to make the game so addicting even when parts of it are clearly, brutally boring. I once read an article in Wired on how companies were examining how they could use the principles that make MMO gamers do the same actions repeatedly for hours to acheive certain goals in the workplace. Here's what I think. (Yay, numbered list.)
1. Schedule Flexibility: The deal is that I can choose what kind of inane work I'm doing at any given moment. There's no such thing as deadline, so if I want to level my virtual fishing skill for 3 hours and then go farm cloth for 30 min, followed by a 2 hour break, followed by 4 hours of dungeon runs...I can do that. Not sure how practical that kind of work pattern would be in a job.
2. Scoring system: Everything I do in an MMO gets a score. Whereas in real life if I'm learning to knit, I don't get a skill-point every time I attempt to create an object. I don't have "faction rep" with my family or friends, or "XP gain" for going about my business. So, for me anyway, the gains IRL are less....defined, I suppose. Obviously much more rewarding being as RL>MMO but sometimes it's harder to see gains, therefore harder to stay motivated.
3. Prestige: This is what drives a lot of MMO achievements. I can be the one person on the server, or the first, with that really cool rare drop mount. Or, I can wear a cool title over my head demonstrating my incredible achievement. Can you imagine if we could walk around IRL with nameplates? What would mine say? Hannah, Champion of the Laundry Basket. Or maybe....Hannah, Destroyer of Dirty Dishes.
4. Social pressure: This is definitely applicable to RL. I will farm those mats for hours so I can make that epic armor so I can go to that dungeon and spend 5 hours listening to my guild leader yammer on in a raid (more dots! more dots! 50 dkp minus!), and be the best little shadowpriest I can. Then I will log off and go read priest forums and study the spell rotation for maximum damage so that I can be seen as "worthy DPS." Hell, I wouldn't have ever even kept playing my priest if I hadn't gotten into a guild that was determined that I should cap out so I could be their healbot. Sorry guys.
5. Lure of the Fantastic: Let's admit. Part of the reason I go out to Netherwing Ledge and complete the same stupid quests over and over again (kill this, gather that, loot this, plant that) is because at the end I know I will get to ride on a massive dragon whenever I want. If some job could find a way to offer me a dragon to soar through the skies on...I probably would do whatever kind of ridiculously boring work they had stored up until I got my prize.
So I dunno...I mean. Kudos guys for thinking of the idea. And clearly, there are perhaps lessons to be gleaned for the modern workplace. But I don't know if, ultimately, RL could = MMO.
In other news....in less than a week I will be in CO. I AM SO EXCITED. I COULD FALL OVER AT ANY MOMENT FROM THE HAPPINESS. I miss my people a whole lot out here in Chi-town. More since Ari. Sometimes I close my eyes and daydream about being able to stop up at my parent's house randomly for dinner or go grocery shopping with my mom or have tea with my Shanna or have a house with a yard or...well. Someday. Let's just say a lot of things I couldn't wait to get away from are now a whole lot more appealing. Till then I just do the best I can do out here, for great justice. No chance to survive, make your time.
Ok, enough procrastination. On to the working.
Love,
Hannah
Current Mood:  geeky Current Music: Christine Lavin - Viagra in the Water |
|
1. Don't have to be religious to be geniuinely spiritual. Duh, right? And here I was operating on the concept that not having a religion was just "fake New Age crap." Turns out it can actually be meaningful. Ha!
2. Just because I'm a mom and my head is full of Ari-things, doesn't mean I'm not still that girl that started this journal. She's not gone, but she's definitely different.
3. Love is all you need. Corny? Perhaps. But I think that's actually the secret meaning of life. Figuring out how to love.
4. Chocolate ice cream is the pinnacle of foodstuffs. Does that belong in a list of profound revelations? You bet it does.
5. I can't figure out if this journal means anything anymore, since I write in it knowing people will read and that invariably changes what and how I will write. So how about this. I will soliloquize in here about whatever is in my head and if you don't like it you can go eat some year old pocorn. I just want to give fair warning that sometimes my head is full of baby things. Again - definitely different.
6. That side of life. I said that, at breakfast with my good friend Patricia. "When you're on that side of life." (meaning with kids). As soon as it came out I felt like a snob. Patricia is a very dear friend to me. Most of my very dear friends have no children. I'm so sorry dear friends. I didn't mean to cross the line, I swear. (I was in the no sex-ed health class in high school...snicker) I wouldn't take it back but it means I'm gonna be in a different mode now. The best way I can describe it is like when you suddenly find yourself having a boyfriend and all your friends are single. It's wonderful. It's the latest step in your journey, it's important and all you want to talk about. You want them to have that happiness, too. But it means now there's this whole big piece you don't feel like you can share in the same way anymore and that makes it sad.
7. They arrested the gov of IL today for corruption. The last one was arrested for the same thing. This just confirms my belief that things done on large scales - including and especially government - are rife with potential for abuse. This doesn't mean that I'm an anarchist or that I say fuck you, USA. It just means that I realize it's a flawed institution, and it gets the same priority over my judgement as other flawed institutions.
8. It pisses me off when people don't vote. Just because it might be a corrupt system doesn't mean you shouldn't do what you can for great justice. The state of the world, the nation, is as much my responsibility as it is yours and that corrupt politicians. I do what I can to make it go the best way, and you should too, tyvm.
9. What's up with me and numbered lists, hmm?
Love,
Hannah
Current Mood: nerdy Current Music: Pendulum - Hold your Color |
|
I manage a SharePoint site, and have set up unique permissions for 70 distinct libraries. Sometimes, for reasons unknown to me, after having not touched the library permissions setup, my access will magically change. This access issue has been a recurring problem, and is the bane of my existence. Because I know it's not me screwing around with it.
This morning, I noticed that my rights levels were not correct for 2 libraries. This is immediately after someone on our Sharepoint team had been working in the live site. They weren't supposed to have touched these libraries, but who knows. One had been completely disabled, and the other had been downgraded so I was no longer "effective administrator" on it. I sent a message back to the gentleman requesting it fixed.
Please reflect on the conversation below and tell me who you think is having issues working in this system.
Me: I have no access to this library. Can you fix it?
Him: Why don't you request access from the owner of the library?
Me: But...I am the owner, and my access has been disabled. How can I grant access to myself if I cannot access the library to change permissions on the library...?
Him: OK...why don't I request access from you, and you can grant me access so that I can grant you access.
...
Love,
HannahCurrent Mood:  amused |
|
- My crepe maker
- Shrimp, hollandaise sauce and broccoli crepes
- Ice cream (too much, I love you, oh ice cream!)
- Making dinner with Aaron
- New sewing machine
- Satisfaction of a completed project
- Bean flops (kicks, jabs, pokes and punches. Dance, baby, dance!)
- Talking to family
- Pretty, warm, Chicago summer (when it decides to happen, alors!)
- Daydreaming about life in 3 months (tap, tap, tap...I'm so ready to start. Go, go! Hannah-approved go time!)
- Waking up early...but only only weekends. ;)
- Saturday morning breakfasts (I make the greatest Mickey-Mouse pancakes, ever.)
- Tchaikovsky
- Battlestar Galactica (GINO)...only a few episodes left....*sniff sniff*
- Random bean trivia facts (eyes open this week! I wonder what color they'll be...)
- Warm rain
- Having a clean house.
- Riding the train to work with Aaron in the mornings. Also that goodbye kiss and the wave as the train leaves (I get off first).
- Creating things.
- Clean inbox at work. Fewer than 25 items! Woo!
- Good posture (not really optional unless I want to give myself a backache. ;))
- Long walks
- String theory
- Wondering about what the bean will be like when she arrives. Ooooo, baby I can't wait.
and, other randomosity.
That's all.
Love,
Hannah |
| » Oh please, state the obvious, why don't you? |
|---|
This pushes my buttons....some girl I work with passes my desk and she's all..."Hi there, Preggie!" It took me longer than 3 seconds to respond because I didn't realize she was referring to me. Since, you know...last time I checked, my name was HANNAH not PREGGIE. (Or Prego, or Pregnant Lady, or Mommy, or Mommy-to-be, or Little Mama, or any of 5,483 creative variations I've heard since I started showing).
Furthermore, this is someone who never particularly said hello before I was pregnant, so WTF does she see the need to start now? Hmm? I've noticed quite a rash of this behavior. I must appear less intimidating as a pregnant woman? Friendlier, perhaps? Let me assure you, neither is the actual case.
This falls into the same category of hate as people who touch my belly without asking permission. Like what, just because I have another little person in there, it's OK to violate her space bubble and mine? And what I want to know is - will those same people touch my baby without asking after she's born? Because I swear to all that's good and holy, if you reach for my child without letting me know, I will BREAK you.
/rant
Hannah
May. 27th, 2008 @ 12:36 pm
|
| » I suppose that's fair. |
|---|
Every Mother's Day, I have this ridiculous goal to make my Mom cry happy tears at least once. It's not hard. She's a softie.
But this year as I'm writing the message to go with her gift, I find myself thinking instead about my own daughter. And before I know it, I'm sitting at my desk (at work, no less!) trying to surreptitiously wipe away the happy tears rolling down my own cheeks.
I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, in some ways. :)
Hannah
May. 8th, 2008 @ 02:09 pm
|
| » the frequency of posts is directly inverse to the frequency of newsworthy events. |
|---|
Dear neglected journal,
I'm pregnant! Woo! Suffice to say it has been a catalyst for a few major life changes. Here are some random observations:
1. On the element of surprise
I won't say it what was on my schedule for 2008, it's not an unwelcome development, either. In fact, once I got over the initial "Oh my!", I was actually quite excited. In fact, I now worry that I have an unhealthy fixation. It seems that all my thoughts are now full of baby. That's probably what hormones do, hmm.
2. On carbon-filled death gas.
Well I quit smoking. Obviously. This was the first change, enacted post-haste. Getting violently ill each time I had one/thought of one/smelled one definitely assisted with the process. Funny logic - I've been a long time clove smoker, and it's been my experience that after a certain point of smoking cloves exclusively, one does get a bit nauseated with them. Who knows why...perhaps a buildup of the wrong substance, or just the cherry syrup they put on the tip. But I ignored the nausea, thinking it would go away as it has in the past. Eventually I just cut back, smoked half, whatever. And then, I discovered I was pregnant. Suddenly it all made sense. So the habit I've been struggling to kick for years went away in approximately one week, with no aids other than morning sickness. Funny the changes it makes to your head, this pregnancy gig.
3. On the dance of shame.
I do worry somewhat that not knowing I was pregnant for the first 8 weeks did something irreversible. However after much testing and a few ultrasounds, it looks like everything is developing normally down in there, so I feel much relieved. There is not such a terrible feeling in the world as the thought that you might have somehow unwittingly inflicted harm on someone who is entirely dependent on you for their well-being. How much folic acid did I not eat? What about that one time I went out for drinks with Patricia after work? The smoking, oh God, the smoking. But what! I live on a diet of caffeine and Top Ramen! Gasp. Etc. So, the feeling of relief at my 20-week ultrasound when the technician said it looked like everything was completely normal could be best described as the lifting of a 50 pound weight comprised entirely of guilt.
4. On tying the knot before stuffing the nest.
But Hannah...you're not married yet. This has been a fun one. Sometimes it's just when random strangers ask me if my husband is excited about the baby. Other times it's the note in the end of a card from relatives I haven't spoken to in years saying that they hope the baby's father and I will consider marriage to create the kind of stable living environment a child needs (lol...like we weren't considering it). Maybe it's the fact that my grandmother won't talk to me about it, but asks my sister each time they speak if I've decided to get married yet. Actually, the truth of the matter is that the only people who aren't really bothered by it are us. And I say that somewhat with a grain of salt, because the fact that it bothers other people has been upsetting.
5. On the whys behind the lack of I dos.
So here's the story, morning glory. Neither of us have been in a hurry to get married. Neither of us have felt like it changes much, or that it was something we particularly needed to prove or cement our relationship. Both of us live paycheck to paycheck at this stage, and funding a marriage ceremony with bells and whistles, or even just rice and cake, was pretty low on our priority list. I watched 27 Dresses last night, and thought it was cute. It's a movie about a perpetual bridesmaid who had always obsessed about weddings, in hope of hers. And it just made me think...that is so NOT me. To be completely honest, I've never given much more than passing thought to my potential wedding day, etc. A part of me wonders if this should be disappointing...? I mean...marriage...that's supposed to be the culmination of the Barbie fantasy, right? What little girls play dolls about. Grow up. Find Ken. Get married. It's not that I'm averse to the idea, I'm sure it would be a nice time. It's just never been in the forefront, until now. Maybe I'm an ungirl.
6. On how having a child is a good way to apply pressure to make love legal.
So, I would be a liar if I said I didn't give it more thought now than I used to. A part of me objects to that on principle, but non-grounded objections hold less weight for me these days. It is what it is. Obviously, we both realize that marriage is now more of a priority for practical reasons. Health insurance, life insurance, tax benefits, etc. And yes, it's difficult to face the day sometimes knowing that some people will give our relationship (including its capacity to create a stable home environment) less credibility. But at the end of the day, that's their problem, not ours. It will come when it's time. We'll likely do a small legal affair for practical and safety reasons before I deliver. I still feel no need to rush the bells and white cake. Because, to me, it's the little everyday nice items that mean eventually growing old together. :)
7. On girls outvoting the boys, 2-1.
It's a girl! We are both absurdly happy over this. The strangest part was that we pretty much knew that's what we were going to end up with. Call it intuition, if you will. How no boy names ever sounded like they'd be right. Or the way all those wives-tales-tests pointed to F. Or maybe just wishful thinking made it so, since we both wanted one so much. Hooooraayyy!! :D I am so excited I could explode. Just thinking and dreaming about having a daughter, and all the terrible and wonderful joys that come with that. I wonder sometimes if my own mom still feels this way about my sisters and I. A natural camaraderie and understanding, an excitement to share the wonderful world of femaleness. A baby girl. I'm completely entranced.
8. On how Ice cream is my newest favorite food.
Ok so...I'm having to pause this journal post to get ice cream, because I can't take it anymore. Oh Baskin Robbins! Oh mint chocolate chip! Sweet, delicious, cold and creamy. An ode to thee, ice cream.
9. On what we call it, legume nicknames aside.
Good question. Funny how my entire list of "names I would call a daughter some day" was whittled away in the process. I think, after many heated debates about how this or that name would make her life as a first grader...we are looking a potential winner. Arianna Soleil. I hope she looks like she fits the name. Otherwise, we're going to have to call her Bean until further notice. :-S
10. On the coolest part of pregnancy.
Admittedly, there are a lot of things that are pretty cool about being pregnant. But the greatest sensation in the world is feeling the baby kick and squirm. Aaron got to feel it too, for the first time, this weekend. It's completely indescribably wonderful. Just, a concrete reminder that a little human being is down there. Growing, stretching, doing somersaults, feeling playful or sleepy or reacting to her parents' voices. Dear Bean, I have loved you since before I ever saw your face. You've done things to me I didn't think possible. :) I can't wait to make your acquaintance outside the womb.
Love,
Hannah
PS. For those who require photographic evidence, please see these incriminating shots
May. 5th, 2008 @ 10:13 pm
|
| » Oh, the nerdity. |
|---|
From the chapters of "You know you're a nerd when...."
Excerpt, Ch 13: When RL conversations about RL things happen between two people in the same room over IM, in WoW terminology.
[21:49] Me: WTB tea and yogurt
[21:49] Me: 20g
[21:49] Me: PST
[21:49] Him: 45g
[21:49] Me: /wrists
[21:49] Me: i only have like...26g on my main right now
[21:50] Me: /emocry
[21:50] Him: WTS tea and yogurt 45G PST
[21:50] Me: /beancry
[21:50] Him: WTS tea and yogurt 45G PST
[21:50] Me: /w Him Hi, I see you have tea and yogurt for sale on the AH for 45g. If you don't get any other buyers, can I offer you 20g?
[21:51] Him: WTS tea and yogurt 45G PST
[21:51] Me: /w Him Fucking Chinese Farmer
[21:51] Me: /w Him I'm totally reporting you
[21:52] Him: /1 Hail Traveler! Have you come from far way lands in search of adventure only to find you're wallet empty! Have no f3ar. Visit http://g0WoWG0ld.orG for all your MMO gold needs! Instant delivery to your in-game MAilbOX!
[21:52] Me: *This user has ignored you and will not receive any messages from you. To file a complaint, please contact Blizzard at 800-we-care
....
Maybe we should seek professional help. Hehe.
<3
Hannah
Feb. 11th, 2008 @ 09:54 pm
|
| » For crying out loud! |
|---|
Assumptions:
In an online environment, where people are unable to see your facial expressions, hear your tone of voice, etc, what you write will hold increased importance as people form their opinion of you.
People react more or less openly to an individual based on their sense of comfort with and trust of the individual.
To promote a sense of security and safety conducive to free exchange of information and ideas in the classroom, you must establish clear expectations. Avoid haphazard or inconsistent application of these expectations, as it causes your students to feel uncertain about or unsafe in the classroom environment.
Case Study:
Hannah the student turns in a paper written to her usual standard. Because the professor grades it last, or at the end of a bad or long day, she gives it a bad grade because some of the transitions are unclear and she is unable to follow the logical progression of the paper. Follows is a transcript of their conversation:
[19:38] Hannah: Hi Professor Maenz, this is Hannah Kendall from your Effective Writing II 220-23 class. I just had a chance to look at your feedback on my last paper, and I had some questions I was hoping you might be willing to clarify. I realize that this is outside your office hours, so I understand if now is a bad time, but thought I would just check. I wanted to make sure I don't carry a continued wrong focus into this week's assignments. :) Please let me know if you are available. [19:39] Professor: I am available. What can I do for you. I love your Im name [19:39] Hannah: thanks. :) [19:40] Hannah: I had a bit of a disconnect on some of the feedback you gave, so I went back through again and looked over and inserted comments where I was confused. I reuploaded the commented-on doc to the drop box. Would you mind taking a look really quick? [19:40] Hannah: quickly*] [19:40] Hannah: :) [19:41] Professor: sure what class is that? [19:41] Hannah: Effective Writing II 220-23 [19:42] Hannah: i numbered the comments for reference and have it in front of me so if that helps when you are IMing back [19:42] Hannah: you can just refer to them by # [19:43] Professor: I'm reading- the first one- okay, I didn't take off for that, just thought it looked like a quote [19:43] Hannah: OK, np. :) [19:43] Professor: Adding the should be repealed makes all the difference [19:44] Hannah: Honestly I'm not so worried about the points as just making sure I don't continue in a wrong direction. :) Although the points do sadden the perfectionist within - I can cope with that, it's my minotaur. :D [19:44] Professor: Hang on [19:44] Hannah: sure take your time [19:48] Professor: Your comment IL4 did not, in my overly taxed mind, tie into what you had said in your original thesis. It should be included in your paper, but when it comes to writing you need to trasition in a smoother way. I lost it completely. [19:49] Professor: You have to remember when you write that your reader needs to be reminded of what is going on and how you gto from point A to Point B [19:49] Professor: I am thinking about raising your grade-important points- because it wasn't well transitioned but is is a valed point. [19:49] Professor: Let me cogitate [19:51] Hannah: OK sure, NP. So it's OK that I want to establish in the paper the importance of the neglected subjects. Would it make more sense to move this claim to the beginning? Say - "These are important subjects + NCLB has a poor method of evaluation > This poor method of evaluation has caused these important subjects to become "left behind" [19:51] Hannah: ? [19:53] Hannah: I could see how if you're establishing an assumption, it should come at the beginning, but that assumption did not tie directly to the law itself, but rather to the thesis that the law has done harm and should be repealed. So I put it last. Let me know if it makes more sense in the beginning [19:54] Professor: Here is the conunbdrum- At least from my point of view. You never really establish that you are arguing the dry, absurdly narrow testing until the last . [19:54] Hannah: btw. thanks for being willing to chat about this, I was well and truly perplexed and going "OH NO!" about this week's DB posts. [19:55] Professor: I think where the problem is coming in is that you assume your reader is looking at things from your same pov. I think that you need to work on trasitions- in this case not between paras but inthem [19:56] Professor: I think also you need to clarify your thesis. your [19:57] Professor: I have no doubt of your intellctual ability from reading this, but frankly, you made me work too hard. [19:57] Hannah: oh sure, that's not a problem. and I do want to understand how to fix it, which is why I thought IM would be better for back-and-forth. [19:57] Professor: Try to write more gently, leading your befuddled reader at a slower pace through the garden so they can enjoy each of the flowers. [19:58] Professor: Does that make sense? [19:58] Professor: So, I will not grade you on wrting style and thesis needing work, so I guess you will get a 92 [19:58] Professor: okay? [19:59] Hannah: OK so, it doesn't matter as much which order the claims come in, so long as I expound on the connections a little more in each para. [19:59] Hannah: Sounds good, I just want to make sure I have the concept down. :) [20:00] Professor: No, it doesn't matter a whit, but many writers go from most important to least, but I don't think you should think of that. [20:00] Professor: Just make it go from sensible to sensible in a manner that flows internally [20:01] Professor: When you do that in a paper of course you also have to connect the papragraphs with transitions [20:01] Professor: not simply internally [20:04] Hannah: Ok sounds good. I will probably make my endlessly-patient boyfriend read it over next time to make sure it makes sense to more than just my brain. Thanks again for your input, it is much appreciated. :) [20:04] Professor: How nice to have an endlessly patient boyfirend. Bye [20:04] Hannah: haha, yeah. Have a good night. :)
Please evaluate this student-teacher interaction for promotion of a safe learning environment.
............................................
But srsly....I guess she's not a bad person but...I reallllllllly can't say I care for her as a professor. Grarrgh. Only a few more weeks.
<3
Hannah
Jan. 15th, 2008 @ 08:09 pm
|
| » accomplished evening? |
|---|
today I:
made this gif.
made a website, which still needs quite a bit of work.
hit 60 on my druid
and various and sundry other learnings in CS2, dreamweaver, etc.
it felt like a lot of work for not a lot to show, but hey! that's how it goes, at times.
Oct. 22nd, 2007 @ 12:03 am
|
| » 23 and it's still Halcyon + On + On |
|---|
Fully alive / More than most / Ready to smile and love life / Fully alive and she knows / How to believe in futures
Oct. 20th, 2007 @ 02:03 am
|
| » Feenyx |
|---|
Dear LiveJournalists/Facebook Mafia,
I am in Phoenix, AZ helping run a work conference. Today was fairly mellow, and that's probably just as well because I'm sure the next days will be hectic enough for three.
Didn't really get much sleep last night so I'm pretty wiped. I suppose I was just nervous that everything would go well, that I would wake up on time to make my flight, etc, etc. Didn't really make for fabulous sleep, either, all two hours of it. I owe great thanks to Bonsai, who finally snuggled up and purred me to sleep. Nothing like a vibrating cat curled up under your arm to offer a blanket of white noise on the backdrop of a racing mind. She's my sweetheart.
Aaron says that Poe has been sitting expectantly in the living room, meowing at the front door. I miss you too, Poe. :D
I read an interesting article in my interpersonal comm class about The Washingtonienne and the psychological effects of journaling versus blogging. I would say it's fair to agree that this confessional epidemic has some adverse effects, or at least not the thoroughly positive benefits of a private brain download. Eh well. I always did better with somewhat of an audience, much as I eschew the bright spotlight.
I have recently come to the realization that probably more time than is healthy I devote to escapism. Oops! So that's my profundity for the month. I am going to take this week and experiment with this thing they call life. Starting with my resolve to get up early and enjoy the beautiful sunrise over some very tall cactus plants. It's one thing to see them in pictures and another thing to stand under a towering mass of angry vegetation.
Oh and, Pandora rocks my face every time. I <3 new and cool music. And on another happy note, I just want to say that I've been really proud of myself for the constancy with which I achieve my school stuff. I'm good at over-achieving when I want to be...but consistency has never really been my forte, so I feel like this is really some good personal progress. She grows, she flows, or so the story goes. :)
<3
!Hannah
Sep. 24th, 2007 @ 11:24 pm
|
| » FOOD BABY. |
|---|
I have this thing which I fondly refer to as the Food Baby. Food Baby makes me purchase elastic-waist pants...=|. Food Baby does not take no for an answer. Food Baby requires regular care and feeding (every 4 hours). Food Baby makes little rumbling noises at inappropriate moments. FB is needy, selfish, sometimes a little scary and utterly and completely single-minded.
I am at the Alliance Francaise Library for another 42 minutes. The Food Baby is crying. Someone, please. Feed the food baby! Hush, FB! This is a library!
=\
Hannah
Sep. 11th, 2007 @ 07:20 pm
|
| » Madam Librarian |
|---|
I have attained a post at the Alliance Francaise library. Every Tuesday, now, you can find me in the French Cultural Center's library on Dearborn and Chicago. :) I sum up my feelings about this in one word: SQUEE!
I enjoy being here very much. I am often more shy than I should be, as it has been a moment since I really have spoken. I mean...I can...and I should...I just...lack so much in the way of vocabulary sometimes it's frustrating trying to understand. And/or the speaker moves too rapidly and gets frustrated and switches to English when I can't keep up. Invariably...their English is better than my French. :-\ Not for always, though...
Which brings me to why I am here - I intend to take classes again to bring myself back up to speed. I think what really needs to happen is I need to go live there, but...since that can't happen at this moment, I am doing ce que je peux.
And because volunteering here, I always feel thrown into the deep end for each new task...I am writing a manual for the library volunteer spot. Does that make me a huge nerd? Quite possibly. But I'm good at it, and if I can avoid having someone else feel like they've been tossed in with no life vest...then I'm gonna. ;)
<3,
Hannah
Jul. 26th, 2007 @ 05:19 pm
|
| » horrible screechy noises! |
|---|
in the spirit of checking off things on the list of things to do before i die, i have purchased a violin and am learning to play. on a consistent basis, i make noises that cause the cats to leave the room. :D yet! i persist. my goal is to get good enough to play christmas carols in the subway by december. aaron will soon be joining me on my musical madness and we shall make wonderful or terrible duets come december. :)
additionally, i am getting respectable on basic elements of poi. although i did smack myself pretty hard in the left eye yesterday, so that still smarts a bit.
um...i'm enrolled in school again. and...life goes on. oh and soon it looks like i might have a tabletop gaming group. hooray! oh the nerd-fix!
love,
Hannah tea, Entity.
Jun. 25th, 2007 @ 09:50 pm
|
| » speaking of fire. |
|---|
I really want to go to burning man. I think, 2008 is the year.
I went out to the lake this morning. It was very peaceful. Just me and some fisherman out to greet the sunrise. Bashful, though it was, hiding behind walls of grey.
I have so much laundry today I don't even want to describe it. here goes.
love,
hannah
May. 27th, 2007 @ 06:13 am
|
| » spitfire. |
|---|
it's summertime.
it's summertime and she feels the heat play across her brow and
something instinctual remembers that it's time to come out of the shell now and,
go down to the lake.
laze.
breathe.
dance.
be.
quiet.
she is quiet now, meditative, listening to the whir of wind cut though by chains and fire.
"be my prometheus" brings through, now, different connotations
traded smoke for fire and metal and
imagination.
and tomorrow she'll be burning.
------------
i got my t-shirts from t-shirt hell. yay. one says: "Fucking Classy". The next, for those days when i really feel like saying "fuck you" to The Man - "Who needs big tits (front) when you have an ass like this (back, with arrow pointing down to said ass) and the last: "I'll be using These to my advantage" (written across the chest). hooray for tshirt hell for when the Hannah feels like being totally offensive to casual passers by.
and am eating thai pizza, yum. with follow up of peanut butter cookie pop (double yum! - pbutter cookie wrapped around a mini snickers on a popsicle stick). raspberry rum and i get along, and i have been cigarette free, still, no cheating, since February 28th, hey maybe it will work this time.
today is rainy and gloomy but i really want to go down to the lake and meditate. i still haven't learned how to sit still, but if i keep up the repetitive motion, i can fall into a sort of gnosis-hypnosis.
i went to the alliance francaise again to volunteer. ended up assisting with a cooking demonstration which is a big joke because i never cook, or do dishes, and i did both all night long (sorry, she only bakes and doesn't clean up the mess). but it was lots of fun, and resulted in the following: quiche lorraine, poivres belle helene, un peu de salade (jamais malade), one dixie cup of red wine, sore feet (standing in pumps for 4 hours), one free book, signed by the author that was hosting the event (get a life! in chicago) one tub of lettuce, some bacon, some prosciutto, and a big grin. i like going there because it is always an adventure. i seldom know what i will be doing before i get there, and arrive with a big smile, limited vocabulary and eager attitude (yep, that's me.)
my job is going really well. i've moved almost fully into training design and development, which i love. i'm currently surfing the wave to shore, and think good things are on the horizon but i dare not say for fear i'll jinx them. all i will say is that i wake up each day and i don't hate the idea of going to work, which i think is more than many people can say. on some days, if i'm feeling particularly perky, i even look forward to it. sick, i know.
i am re-reading The Time Traveler's Wife and it always makes me cry. i always end up on the Red line at about Sheridan, sitting, looking out the window trying to stuff the tears back down because i feel like a big goober weeping on the train. but it's just that good.
i really want a new apartment with party-hosting capability, because a crepe party has been festering in my brain for several months. let it out.
bye for now.
love,
hannah-tea, entitea
ps. shanna if you are reading this i want you to know that i have been seriously thinking about getting a tattoo, and you will be the first to know when i make that leap, and also the one to design it, if you don't mind. :) oh, and....i miss you.
May. 26th, 2007 @ 07:41 pm
|
| » discourse concussion. |
|---|
thoughts plop like rocks into the still pool of my mind. every pebble makes a ripple, oscillations reprecuss in kind. it's the dual beauty and utter annoyance of being me...everything taken, below the surface, fair seriously. gives stray thoughts preponderance and i float over the surface of the sludge on nimble feet fearing fall into the mire of weighty recompense. i skip carefree because otherwise i'd be mired down with the dredgery of too much seen and weighed and at the end of the day cast like manacles on my wrists.. it's because all things are serious that nothing is. that's the secret, yes. that's the trick.
may i live to see the day
where i can see the world
in shades of grey.
love,
hannah
Apr. 12th, 2007 @ 11:34 pm
|
| » Abecedarian. |
|---|
Today we're going to talk about CONSTRUCTIVISM, kids. Are you ready?
Constructivist teaching (pedagogy) delineates that you create an environment in which learning is encouraged, then engage the student in active discovery of his or her own meaning to the subject matter. In a constructivist classroom, the teacher is less a 'teacher' so much as a 'facilitator of the learning process.'
Constructivism is powerful because by engaging the student as an active partner to her own learning, lessons are more indelibly imprinted, as the student has part-ownership in the process.
Having been taught a bit of a lesson, via this method, I can speak to the fact that it is perhaps not the fastest way to impart something so much as it is the most lasting way to do so. It's also the most respectful of the student, as it places in them equal faith and trust to accomplish the 'learning' end of the bargain.
I just wanted to write this down because:
a) I'm really impressed at how well it works. Truly, I think, for me, ego gets in the way of a lot of genuine learning (because how can you learn if you can't admit that you don't know?) This method pretty completely circumvents the lesson vs. pride conflict.
b) I want to remind myself to use it later in life when I am on the teaching end.
c) I want to remind myself that I have the goal of being on the teaching end, because while I am pretty confident I'm not going to be able to repay the teacher, in this situation, I can at least pay it forward.
I feel... a lot more at ease in this kind of environment. I don't feel like I have as much to prove, therefore, I don't have to lie to myself and others about how much I know and don't, to uphold some sort of 'smart' image. (Because honestly, that's what I really learned in school...how to look smart, not necessarily how to be smart - a bad habit I have been paying for in the currency of soul since that time.) While, I would like to think I know everything...admitting that I don't sure takes some pressure off.
So...I write this down because I want to remember it. It seems important, to me, anyway. And I write it in a public blog because it's also a somewhat confession. Dear those who know/knew me, I am sorry for being a big liar.
Grr, and now I want a cig. I'm not going to lie. It's been pretty bad lately, with the wanting. The only thing really stopping me is fear of imminent slow descent into 'complete and utter quitting failure'. So I'd rather not have any at all and hope the desire eventually goes away.
Love,
Hannah
Apr. 11th, 2007 @ 12:50 pm
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
spiralunwind's journal